Marriage is for Losers
by Dalenigma
Summary: Bella and Edward's enigmatic relationship takes a turn for the worst when the question is popped. First fanfic. Rated M for lemons.


_Marriage Is For Losers_

_Prologue_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. All rights to the story and its characters belong to Stephanie Meyer._

**EPOV.**

Her sharp eyes latched onto mine, reaching all the way down into my soul and dragging all of those deep, dark secrets to the forefront of my exceptionally muddled mind. She leaned confidently against the tiled wall of the bathroom, our clandestine meeting unknown to all others downstairs. A moist, pink tongue slipped out from between her lips and licked them, enjoying the effect it was most obviously having on me.

"Enjoying the party?" she asked teasingly.

I smiled wryly at her. There was no doubt that I was proud of Dr. Farrell, a beloved family friend, for reaching his eighty fifth birthday. However, that didn't mean I wanted to stand around his dusty old mansion for a whole night and listen to his similarly aged-challenged friends moan about how their packages could no longer point. Just because the inhabitants of New York's Upper East Side were rich, people assumed they would be interesting too. More often than not, such assumptions weren't warranted.

The only reason why I had actually bothered to attend was because of the confirmed presence of a certain saucy little minx who was standing suggestively before me. Well, that and the fact that my mother said I had to.

_I'll always be a mama's boy._

"Not so far." I replied, more truthful than she probably expected. "But I plan to change that very soon."

I moved closer to her, resting a hand on the wall beside her head. The pale blue tiles felt cold against my fingers, and I momentarily shivered, wondering if what I was about to do was a good idea.

_Maybe not, but I could live with that._

"Bella..." I sighed, looking down once more into her beautiful brown orbs. The boldness they had held mere seconds ago was lost, replaced with a wild lust that undoubtedly matched my own. "Bella. I want this. I want _you_. If you don't tell me otherwise, I am going to fuck you senseless in Dr. Farrell's guest bathroom."

With a sweet little smile spreading across her lips, Bella slowly shook her head. I so desperately wanted to know what she was thinking, how she was feeling. What was this to her? Yet again, I cursed the phony little world I lived in for making everything so damn complicated.

I gasped when I felt delicate little fingers softly clasp my cock through the pants of my tuxedo, and couldn't stop my lips from roughly finding hers. She tasted like no other woman I'd ever met – sweet, addictive like chocolate. I growled into her mouth as our lips moved together in an unbalanced harmony, tongues fighting for dominance.

We both froze as four delicate knuckles impacted the bathroom door, resulting in three sharp knocks. "Bella dear?" an all too familiar voice questioned. "Are you in there?"

Our eyes, both trying and failing to mask the unyielding terror now unleashed, locked as we struggled to figure out our next move. Avery Swan, Bella's grandmother, was as graceful, polite and beautiful as her name would suggest. Unfortunately, she also happened to be the inheritor of all the somewhat uglier Swan traits – materialistic, snobby, and stubborn like an ox.

Although petrified, I couldn't say I was all that astounded at our interruption. Such parties were viewed as crucial socialising mixers by the older generations, who cherished nothing more than to show off their successful offspring and pair them up with the equally successful offspring of their frenemies. Bella's absence would be noticed, as would mine, and two and two would be put together…

"Bella dear? It's your grandmother…" Her euphony of words sounded like sweet sugar, but an echoing edge of annoyance was clear to those with a more discerning ear. We had to hurry. Maybe I could hide in the substantially huge tub, and immerge from the bathroom later?

Silently surveying Bella, whose fingers had now regrettably stilled against my aching member, I noticed that she didn't seem as intent to remain undetected as I did. Knowing her face so well, I was somewhat taken aback by the laughter in her eyes, how her lip quivered slightly with excitement. Was this all just a huge, kinky rush to her?

Puzzled, I stared into her mesmerising orbs, searching for an answer, yet none emerged. Another three sharp knocks, louder this time, were followed by a muffled string of curses. Old Swan knew damn well that Bella was in here, and she wasn't going to leave until she had her.

"Bella! Stop delaying the matter at hand, and wasting precious time! I know this hasn't been easy for you, but just suck it up and grow some balls." I chuckled lightly at the old woman's words, always happy to witness the inevitable change of phrases used once she was sure she was only being heard by her granddaughter.

Sighing, Bella pushed me away from her slight form, and, after straightening out her dress, reached for the door. "Are you crazy?" I exclaimed as she pushed open the door, revealing the entire scene to the old hag.

My head fell into my hands as I heard the surprised hiss which emanated between Avery's botoxed lips - not that you could ever tell that, of course. Enough money could make anything look real. I hesitantly gawked, scared shitless, between my fingers as the woman who would most surely kill me with that evil glare almost galloped into the bathroom with her hast and slammed the door behind her.

"BELLA SWAN!" Avery whispered furiously, obviously aware that the walls in these places can be irritatingly thin. Bella didn't even have the decency to look ashamed about our conduct. Desperately, I tried to defuse the situation before Old Swan took out a knife and stabbed us both. "Mrs. Swan, it's not what it loo-"

"And _you_," Two pairs of equally beautiful brown eyes turned to stare at me – one furious, one amused. "How dare you threaten the impending marriage by using your playboy wiles on her? She has always been unable to resist your man-slut charm, and her being engaged obviously hasn't changed that one bit."

I shrugged, hoping to achieve an air of nonchalance. Neither of them bought it. Still, I was slightly relieved and increasing less scared now that the rant was half way over. Yes, I knew that fucking a soon-to-be married woman against Dr. Farrell's tiled bathroom wall wasn't exactly appropriate, but what can I say? I'm a sucker for the forbidden fruit, and Bella is most certainly the sweetest of them all.

I was about to point out that I never did _actually_ get around to this act of fabulous fucking, when Bella decided to join the friendly little conversation, simultaneously rolling her eyes at her grandmother's fuss. "What Jacob doesn't know won't hurt him, grandma. And who's going to tell him?"

Avery sighed heavily. Not her, evidently. She'd do nothing to jeopardise the joining of the Swan and Black families. Once Bella and Jacob were married, they'd practically own the whole of New York, and what could possibly be more important than unstoppable money and power?

"Bella, you have to promise me this will stop." she pleaded, deciding to take a sweeter approach. "At least until after the wedding. Don't throw away everything our family has worked for!"

Ah, I was wondering when the guilt speech would come. _After everything we've worked for! Do you think that million dollar penthouse just happened to be yours? Your future children are going to be hobos! _It was always the same for us poor rich kids. Lots of constant pressure to get even richer and raise your own rich family. Bella's agreement to that dog's proposal was the resulting consequence of a lifetime of such guilt trips. Not love, or happiness, or the need to succeed.

_At least, that's what I keep telling myself._

"I promise."

My heart broke a little as Bella beamed sweetly at her grandmother, and uttered those two words. Those two words which never seemed to mean anything to her, but always seemed to fuck up a lot of things.

Unbelieving, but with nothing to do about it, Avery sighed yet again and nodded, appearing weary and nevertheless determined. She opened the door and closed it behind her, giving us both a significant look before she departed. It was easy to know what it stated.

_I'm watching you._

I looked over at the space Bella had once occupied, but was surprised to find her missing. However, nimble hands swiftly unbuckling my belt gave me some indication as to where the little vixen had relocated to.

"You promised no." I reminded her, shaking my head as my hard shaft sprung free of my boxers, bouncing up and down in stark contradiction.

Didn't she remember what she promised me? I didn't know whether to be happy that she seemingly didn't take any of her promises seriously, or angry that her words to me had been so apparently empty.

She said nothing, instead choosing to lick the head of my shaft in the sexiest way possible. I inhaled an unsteady breath, still completely unable to handle what Bella's touch did to me.

_How was this ever going to end well?_

_Woo! First fanfiction ever, so please be kind :)_

_I'm sure there are__ some grammar mistakes in there as I don't have a beta, but any constructive criticism would be welcomed. _

_Thanks for reading, please review!_


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